Doug and I sat down to have a long heart to heart about just what in the world was going on with our marriage. No sooner had we pulled out the "peace walnut" when our little pow wow was interrupted by the unmistakable stench of an open sewer. (for those of you who don't watch Dr. Laura, a peace walnut is a walnut with eyes and a hat that you pass back and forth while you're having a disagreement, and whoever is holding it gets to talk without being interrupted.) We grabbed flashlights and ran outside to find that our septic pump had basically blown up. With the top of the fifty gallon sludge barrel sheared off, we were left with an overflowing open sewer.
Dale ran back to the house to call the "turd herders." I was about to follow him when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. The poo lake seemed to be bobbing up and down. I took a step closer and my heart stopped; Rita Hayworth was in the barrel!!!! I screamed for Dale who ran to my rescue. I pointed into the barrel crying and he asked what was wrong. The only thing I could do was to yell out RITA!! He got the message loud and clear. That brave husband didn't even hesitate, he plunged his arm in right up to the pit and hauled Rita out by her collar. (The leopard print one we bought her at at The Dollar Store.)
That man of mine saved our little baby, who probably got out becasue I forgot to lock her pen up after I fed her. He didn't blame me at all. He just scrubbed that little sheepdog clean while I watched from the kitchen window. I ask you, how could a man like that possibly be guilty of the things I was ready to accuse him of?
I know you guys don't tune in to hear about my husband though. I know you want the scoop on Ian, who works as an underground foreman. "Underground Miners have it all...everyday. Reality returns our stares into the dark and unknown. The rocks talk back to you. All you need to do is keep and open mind and listen...and work like hell!" I have to be honest here, I'm not sure what Ian means by that. It kind of creeps me out. But there's nothing creepy about that sexy moustache!!
I'll be back next week with another hot hot shirtless underground gold miner,
President Pro Tem