Sunday, October 19, 2008

Mom Mom is moving Where?!?

My mother in law is moving in with us!! Since I'm not real good with emoticons yet I'll just have to come out and tell you that I'm a little upset and kind of freaked out.

Being a grown woman who has her own way of organizing a spice rack, I don't want someone to be looking over my shoulder saying things like, "Why do you put to cream of tartar on the top shelf when you never use it?" She also rearranges the medicine cabinet every time she uses the bathroom. I swear she does it to try and trick me into brushing my teeth with Dale's foot cream. I know I'm supposed to feel good about my hubby because he has a close relationship with his mother, but to tell the truth, it kind of freaks me out. Sometimes when they're on the couch watching tv together he'll put his legs across her lap so she can scratch them. This goes on for hours. Like all the way through Die Hard One and half way through Die Hard Two.

Fortunately for me, I've got my California Underground Gold Miners to keep me sane!!!! Johon (pronounced Yo-Han I'm told!) says, "Underground mining, more than anything I know, tests all of man's capabilities and powers. It requires a combination of brute strength and intelligence, of instinct and knowledge, each as important as the other. It is this paradox which gives us our passion for working underground and which lures us back day after day like the song of the siren."


Talk about a tripple threat, moustache, blue eyes, and sexy glasses!! I wish I was a siren capable of luring him into my underground cave!

President Pro Tem,
Margaret Fisk

Monday, October 13, 2008

It's the Economy Dum Dum!!

As everyone who shares a work fridge knows, when the economy gets bad, people start stealing your snacks!!!! It's True!! You underground gold miner lovers out there who don't share kitchen facilities at your office might think I'm crazy or miscounting my cookies, but I swear I'm 100% serious.

Every day when I pack my lunch I also pack snacks to get me through the mid morning, mid afternoon, and that home stretch at the end of the day. In one plastic bag I put a chocolate chocolate chip granola bar for a healthy morning snack, in bag #2 I put a Ding Dong or Ho Ho for a lunch desert, and in bag #3 I put five chocolate chip cookies as a treat for not eating anything from the snack machine before 3:00. (I also have three cup o' noodles in my file cabinet just in case I need that extra boost and don't have any change for the snack machine.)

For the last week or so, when I go to get my cookie snack, there has been between one and three cookies missing. I have put up signs and told my boss but nothing seems to stop this cookie thief. Doug says I should make some cookies with ExLax in them to teach the guilty person a lesson, but making it so that someone gets paid to poop at work doesn't seem like a punishment to me.

I just hope this economy gets better so I can do my work without keeping one eye on the fridge. Especially since people are talking about layoffs. The last thing I need is to have to go on job interviews. Especially since we got closet moths and all my good dresses are full of holes. What was God thinking when he invented those little guys? How is that design intelligent?

On the opposite side of the spectrum from the moths would be one of God's most magnificent creations; a hot underground gold miner named Chuck. "While the mines of Alleghany are classic examples of drift mines, exploration by the successful operator has not been aimless. With the exception of LUCK - a great aid to any mining venture - a purposeful direction and goal are the main ingredients separating the winners and losers. Those who succeed in winning nature's gold have maintained a firm hand in steering their courses."


Keep steering your courses toward those hot bodied underground gold miners!!
Margaret Fisk
President Pro Tem

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Everything's Okay!!

Doug and I sat down to have a long heart to heart about just what in the world was going on with our marriage. No sooner had we pulled out the "peace walnut" when our little pow wow was interrupted by the unmistakable stench of an open sewer. (for those of you who don't watch Dr. Laura, a peace walnut is a walnut with eyes and a hat that you pass back and forth while you're having a disagreement, and whoever is holding it gets to talk without being interrupted.) We grabbed flashlights and ran outside to find that our septic pump had basically blown up. With the top of the fifty gallon sludge barrel sheared off, we were left with an overflowing open sewer.

Dale ran back to the house to call the "turd herders." I was about to follow him when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. The poo lake seemed to be bobbing up and down. I took a step closer and my heart stopped; Rita Hayworth was in the barrel!!!! I screamed for Dale who ran to my rescue. I pointed into the barrel crying and he asked what was wrong. The only thing I could do was to yell out RITA!! He got the message loud and clear. That brave husband didn't even hesitate, he plunged his arm in right up to the pit and hauled Rita out by her collar. (The leopard print one we bought her at at The Dollar Store.)

That man of mine saved our little baby, who probably got out becasue I forgot to lock her pen up after I fed her. He didn't blame me at all. He just scrubbed that little sheepdog clean while I watched from the kitchen window. I ask you, how could a man like that possibly be guilty of the things I was ready to accuse him of?

I know you guys don't tune in to hear about my husband though. I know you want the scoop on Ian, who works as an underground foreman. "Underground Miners have it all...everyday. Reality returns our stares into the dark and unknown. The rocks talk back to you. All you need to do is keep and open mind and listen...and work like hell!" I have to be honest here, I'm not sure what Ian means by that. It kind of creeps me out. But there's nothing creepy about that sexy moustache!!


I'll be back next week with another hot hot shirtless underground gold miner,
Margaret Fisk
President Pro Tem