Thursday, September 11, 2008

A Little Taste of Germany!

OMG!!!! I just got back from a funeral in Denver and I had the greatest time. My cousin Cheryl and I ended up at a real live gay bar!! It was totally on accident. We just stopped in to use the bathroom, but when the bar tenders are wearing nothing but underwear what's a girl to do but have six or seven Jack and Cokes!! Being surrounded by buff stud muffins made me feel like a real woman. I just wish Dale could have been there to watch me drink Tequilla out of Javier's belly button. (The only reason I did it, besides the fact that I wanted to put my lips on his rippling abs, is becasue I was so mad that Dale wouldn't come to the funeral because he had some dumb fantasy football party to host. I'm still mad about that.)

After a couple hours I spent most of the money from my Christmas account. (who ever heard of a $12 beer? I guess it's a gay thing I whouldn't understand) The strobe lights, fog, and that same dance song they had been playing over and over again for nearly two hours started to get on my nerves, so I went out onto the patio to clear my head. Imagine my surprise when I found out there was a pool out there along with a gaggle of lesbians. I hung out there for a while hoping someone might notice lil' ole' me. ( Not that I wanted to go to that party, but you know how it's always nice to get an invite.) None of them gave me a second glance, not even the ugly ones, which was most of them. I sat down next to the pool and cried for a minute, and when I really got going I vomited in the pool. I guess I didn't actually have that good of a time now that I think of it.

Either way, those hairless Adonis' dancing in the cages couldn't compare to the raw sexiness of a real live underground gold miner like Klaus.


He says, "I love the intensity and challenge of working underground. Every day I am pushed to the limit mentally and physically. It's a tough job, but it is very exciting to blow a round and clear a few more of tunnel. Nothing, however, compares to the thrill of finding pure gold ore down under." I can't imagine how exciting it must be to blow a round down under. Can you?

Until next week, meeting adjourned.

Margaret Fist
President Pro Tem

PS. if you have a minute, please say a prayer for my dead grandma Trudi. She was a great woman and her funeral was sparsely attended.